Giving a Hand Up, Not a Hand Out

Have I been participating in toxic charity my entire life?  The meals I bought for those begging on the streets, my trip to New Orleans to gut a man's home after the hurricane, my month in Tanzania to aid a community affected by HIV... was all of it actually HURTING the people I wanted to help?  

LHA's Mission Statement

As I continued to turn the pages of Robert D. Lupton's Toxic Charity, I could feel the disbelief, guilt, and confusion weigh me down, tempting me to tuck the book back into my folder and go about my night in utter denial.  But I couldn't.  As a member of the LHA (Leadership Harrisburg Area) Class of 2015, I made a commitment to servant leadership, and I had to step out of my comfort zone to do so.  I also couldn't put the book down, not because this book was a required read before our human services session in Harrisburg, but I genuinely wanted to know how to serve well. And to do so meant admitting that my caring and compassionate intentions might have resulted in unintended consequences.  I began the process of questioning my previous actions in order to determine how I will serve in the future. 

What do you do when you see a person begging in the streets?

I, like most individuals, feel completely torn when encountering an older gentleman at a busy intersection holding a tattered sign revealing that he is a homeless veteran in need, a young woman who needs just $2.30 more to buy a bus ticket home, a child clinging to his mother's leg as she asks those who pass her for money to feed her family. I've given a few bills to the veteran, bought a bus pass for the young woman, and purchased a rotisserie chicken with sides and bottles of water for the mother and child.

Lupton addresses this very dilemma by referring to a 2011 Christianity Today article.  Three veteran ministry leaders were asked "Should Christians always give money to street people who ask for it?".  Their responses, summed up, were "Yes, freely," "Sometimes, in order to connect them to the necessary resources," and "Absolutely not!".  According to Lupton, what these three begging individuals truly need is my due diligence, not my money; if I am not able to dedicate the time to create a trusting relationship with each one of these individuals, then I must give my money to an organization that does.  As me, the giver, and as them, the recipients, a trusting relationship cannot be formed because the resources ($) is controlled by me and the recipient always remains on the outside.  In order for the recipient's dignity to be enhanced and self-sufficiency established, the begging veteran, bus taker, and mother must be on the inside. To be "on the inside" means that recipients must become the dispensers, authors of the rules, and builders of the community. 

"Never do for the poor what they have (or could have) the capacity to do for themselves." 

Lupton provides the following examples as clarification:

Being on the Outside: A line begins to form outside of the church pantry first thing in the morning, the line filled with men, women, and children all waiting to receive their free food from the local church.  The volunteer, a member of the church, sits at a table, the rules of the system posted above: One visit per month.  Must have ID.  One bag per household.  Some of the recipients follow the rules and others do not, giving reasons why the volunteer should bend the rules for them.  The volunteer might bend or even step out of the church to help the recipient with personal problems, but soon realizes that doing so creates complications, so the volunteer learns to stick to the rules and avoid personal involvement. 

Being on the Inside:  The people who are in need of food to feed their families are members of a co-op at a local church.  The members are busy putting out the food on tables, checking to see who has paid the $3 membership dues, and distributing food to those who have paid.  Some of the individuals are at the food bank obtaining more food, others are sorting and packaging, and there are others cleaning up.  All decisions (Who gets the meat products? Who is supposed to do the home deliveries?  What should the co-op do with inactive members?) are made by the members.  The members do not receive handouts but play a reasonable due; they make and enforce the rules and, over time, build relationships, help one another out, and become the church. 

 Are mission/service trips helpful?

Hurricane Katrina Relief Work - Spring 2006

After the devastation of Hurricane Katrina, I joined a group of students from Dickinson College on a service trip to New Orleans to gut homes destroyed by flooding.  Lupton states that for emergency situations such as this, one way giving should not be limited.

However, many non-emergency short-term service trips do not effect lasting change.  Lupton provided a list of service trips gone wrong: a wall built on an orphanage's soccer field that had to be torn down, a church wall in Mexico that was painted six times by six different mission's groups, a tile floor that was laid by inexperience volunteers (while local tile layers waited to see if there was any work left for them) that had to be torn up and redone.  He states that the thousands of dollars that volunteers raise for the travel, lodging, food, and staff time in an impoverished country rarely amount to the monetary value of the actual work done. The funds raised would be far more effective if directly invested in the people served.

"Limit one-way giving to emergency situations."

The author cites Haiti and Africa as being the prime examples of toxic charity.  Billions of dollars in free aid have been poured into these two areas, and yet sustainability is still far from reality as the spirit of self-sufficiency has been replaced with a mentality of dependency.  Dambisa Moyo writes in her expose, Dead Aid, about assistance to Africa, her native country:  "The reality is aid has helped make the poor poorer and growth slower.  Aid has been, and continues to be, an unmitigated political, economic and humanitarian disaster for most parts of the developing world."  The author warns donors of the toxicity of one-way giving: Give once and you elicit appreciation; give twice and you create anticipation; give three times and you create expectation; give four times and it becomes entitlement; give five times and you establish dependency.

Why did my service trip abroad fail to leave a lasting impact on the community I served?

My one month service trip to Moshi, Tanzania - Summer of 2011

My husband and I decided that, before we begin having children, we would create a "baby bucket list."  The number one goal on my list was to go to a third world country for one month and dedicate myself to service.  Like many people in the world, my heart was filled with compassion and a desire to put that compassion to work.  Compassion, however, is dangerous, says Lupton, as it causes reasonable people, like myself, to act out of intention and without proper execution. "Good" intentions are not enough.

 A quick Google search brought up hundreds of organizations that claimed to change the lives of people all over the world.  In just two weeks, I could engage in "meaningful" volunteer work and create lasting relationships with those in need.  Every site was plastered with pictures of children with various shades of brown skin being read to by white Americans, and middle class/suburban teens with shovels and hammers in hand.  While "helping" the needy, volunteers had the opportunity to travel the country and learn about the culture first hand.  Volunteer quotes boasted of life changing experiences, learning opportunities, and grand shifts in perspectives (I would later find out these changes were for the volunteer, not for the community served.)   I chose an organization, raised funds, and bought my ticket to Tanzania.

"Subordinate self-interests to the needs of those being served." 

Cross Cultural Solutions, the organization that I chose, claimed: "VOLUNTEER ABROAD. CHANGE THEIR WORLD. CHANGE YOURS.  THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING."  How many volunteers has Cross Cultural Solutions and the hundreds of other religious and non-religious organizations sent overseas?  And why is the change that is claimed to be made missing?  Because the communities need development; playing soccer with orphaned children, bringing books and clothing to villages, making friendships with the locals, helping make some repairs, and traveling the country for a few weeks does NOT change everything. As stated so poignantly in the book, "Giving to those in need what they can be gaining from their own initiative may well be the kindess way to destroy people."

Lutpon argues that an overwhelming number of the short-term trips that volunteers are sent are to places that need development and a long-term commitment.  Wouldn't it be better to call our trips an "insight trip" or "exchange program"?  There's nothing wrong with exploring a country and getting to know the people of culture through travel; however, taking a personal excursion to another area under the guise of "service" or "volunteerism" only weakens those being served, fosters dishonest relationships, erodes recipient's work ethic, and deepens dependency.   

 "Strive to empower the poor through employment, lending, and investing, using grants sparingly to reinforce achievements."

Lupton applauds the micro-lending system as it keeps the dignity and self-sufficiency of those in poverty intact; however, many mission and service trips promote "feel good" experiences that only benefit those who are serving.  Why should communities borrow money when churches and aid organizations give it to them?  What village would borrow money to dig a well or buy books for a school if these were provided at no cost?  If all that was required was to make a wish list and then smile graciously at the affluent, well meaning U.S. churches and aid organizations until they leave, can one blame a community for doing so?

While in Tanzania, I quickly realized that my service trip could turn into just another vacation with little to no impact being left in the town I was trying to help.  I worked closely with Jipe Moyo, an local non-profit that served members of the community affected by HIV.  One of the women, Asia, was trained on how to use a sewing machine in hopes that she can teach the other members and start a small business.  They were currently making hand bags to sell to foreigners who visited Tanzania.  The Hard Life Artists was another local organization that I befriended during my time in Tanzania, and I fell in love with their concept of using art to empower children and raise funds for the community.  In addition, I met and taught many children who did not have access to education because of their family's financial situation.



The logo for the website created for Jipe Moyo,
The Hard Life Artists, and sponsorship

I decided to promote sustainability by the handbags and paintings back go the United States.  I even found sponsorship for nine school aged children and sponsored the college education of another local upon my return from Tanzania.  The website I created outlined the work that I did: Give Heart Give Hope.  So, I did exactly what Lupton advised - I tried to empower the poor through employment and lending and investing.  But I failed. 

Upon my return to the United States, Jipe Moyo split into two factions and women from both groups contacted me about to whom future profits belonged.  An artist from The Hard Life Artists contacted me to let me know that the money I sent to another member was being used for personal purchases and not for the children; therefore, I should start sending it to someone him instead.  The students all failed out of school that year and didn't have the support system necessary to succeed.  My compassion and desire to help has left me with a closet filled with beautiful handbags, paintings, and pictures of children in need.

After years of reflection and after reading Toxic Charity, I realized the reasons for my failure:

1. Due Diligence:  The one month I was in Tanzania combined with the phone calls and Facebook messages upon my return cannot help the community create the lasting changes necessary.  The community deserves the necessary time to build trusting and healthy relationships that do not resemble the donor-recipient model.
2. Doing With, not Doing For:  The women of Jipe Moyo, the Hard Life Artists, and the students should have been a part of the entire process.  Yes, the women made the hand bags.  Yes, the artists painted the paintings.  Yes, the students attended free English classes to show their dedication to education.  But that does not mean that they were truly on the inside?  No.  The women and artists should have been a part of the website creation and sale. The students' families should have had more investment with the process of securing sponsorship. And every one of the community members should have had equal investment.
3. Personal Interests:  I chose an organization that allowed the personal interests of the volunteers to be a large part of the volunteer experience.  While in Tanzania, I was surprised to hear the reasons for coming to Africa with Cross Cultural Solutions.  I met a woman who was recovering from a divorce, a young man who needed to leave his home town after his father passed away, a woman whose marriage ended because of her husband's affair... and the list goes on. Several other volunteers were there with a cultural experience as a major, if not main priority.  Others were there with a desire to make lasting change, but, like me, ignorant of how to do so beyond the donor-recipient model.  From here on out, if I am going to truly serve the needs of a community, I must place their needs far and above mine.

How Do I Continue to Serve Locally?

My home in Harrisburg, PA

While teaching full time, building relationships with family and friends, and taking part in leadership opportunities, my desire to serve has not diminished, but grows stronger. 

I mentored a young man through the Big Brother Big Sister program, volunteered at various after-school programs, picked up trash around the city of Harrisburg, donated to charities each month; however, I am still left wondering how I can make a long-lasting, meaningful impact on the lives of those I serve. 

Lupton provided me with very practical ways to give to the community:

• Strengthen the Urban Center:  I currently live in Harrisburg city, a city that I have called home for over seven years.  The media paints a picture of violence, blight, and hopelessness, my in-laws have expressed concern about crime, and some friends and colleagues make comments that only contribute to the fear and negativity created by the media.  Lupton states that "what we believe about a neighborhood will in large measure determine what we find when we arrive."  I am not ignorant to the problems that exist in the city; however, I am acutely aware of the benefits of being surrounded by so much life and diversity.  When I look around, I see beautiful, historic buildings, people of all different shades and socioeconomic levels, sidewalks filled with history in each crack and groove, and small businesses whose owners are chatting with neighbors, not just customers.  I feel alive when I am walking the streets of Olde Uptown, getting to know my neighbors, planting flowers in my own flower bed (not as a suburban service project to beautify a run-down neighborhood), and being a part of a movement to strengthen this urban center.
  
  Lupton states that living in and connecting with a struggling community is one of the most authentic expressions of affirmation for a struggling community. However, even my living in a urban center must be done right - I cannot be a resident who merely reaps the benefits of living in the city while ignoring the problems that exist in my own backyard.  I must become an active participant in the growth:  "When connected neighbors move into the struggling world of those who are poor in order to be friends (rather than profit-making gentrifiers), new possibilities begin to appear.  With resourced neighbors come educational improvements, better stores, safer streets."

"Listen closely to those you seek to help, especially to what is not being said - unspoken feelings may contain essential clues to effective service."
 

• Learn to Listen:  The example that Lupton gave of listening closely to those you seek to help stuck with me for hours after I put the book down.  Over the course of several years, I spent hundreds of dollars buying gifts for families during the holiday season, and Lupton witnessed a gift strip one family of their dignity. 
  
  Spending Christmas Eve with a family in an urban neighborhood, Lupton observed as the children anxiously waited by the door for Santa's helpers, a well-dressed family with young children who dropped gifts off to the family.  The mother smiled nervously to hide her embarrassment, and lied to her children that their father was at the store.  He left the room, emasculated in front of his own children who receive gifts from the "rich" people outside of their home.  Lupton then began to notice how many recipients of charity avoided eye contact, slumped, and sometimes changed from gracious to entitled. Volunteering to serve food at a local soup kitchen, buying a Christmas gift for a child in need, and completing an art project with students at an urban school a few times over the course of several months are great starts, but not enough. 
  
  Lupton revels that the people that are being served are not often willing to reveal the entire story for multiple reasons: intimidation, fear of judgment, fear of losing support, fear of appearing unappreciative; however, effective servants must learn to observe behaviors, ask insightful questions, use their intuition, and hear what is not being said.  Once again, we must remind ourselves that service is to truly serve the needs of the individual, and our ears and eyes must be opened. 
  
• Go Beyond Betterment:  When we give a hungry individual food, pay a neighbor's gas bill during a tough month, give a wrapped toy to a child in need, organize a hands-on activity for a group of struggling students, we are offering betterment - immediate relief.  They do make a different; however, poverty and many other deeply rooted issues will not be solved unless there is a move toward development:  "Betterment does for others.  Development maintains the long view and looks to enable others to do for themselves.  Betterment improves conditions.  Development strengthens capacity.  Betterment gives a man a fish.  Development teaches a mane how to fish." 
  
  Many of my service projects have provided betterment for those in need; however, I am now ready to make a conscious decision to see out opportunities to contribute to development - putting in the necessary hours to listen, create trusting relationships, and ask what resources I can bring into the process to create lasting change.
  
• Change My Mind-Set:  Lupton shares a candid conversation with a neighbor about how volunteers were completely unaware of their damaging words:  "I hate it when volunteers come down here.  Do you know what it's like to have people look down on you like you're poor, like you need help?  I know they're just trying to be nice but, damn, they insult you and don't even know it!  Like one lady mentioned to me and Tamara how clean our house was.  I guess she thought it was a compliment.  What she was really saying was 'I'm surprised to see your house isn't with roaches and filled with trash like most black families.' A couple people told me how smart and well-behaved my kids were, surprised that they weren't dumb and rowdy like most inner-city black kids.  I see through their words.  I hear what they really think.  But, you have to keep smiling and act like you don't know what's going on.  I really hate it!"
  
  The common "we-will-rescue you" mindset must be replaced with mutual admiration and respect.  A fellow Leadership Harrisburg colleague, who organizes service projects for the students of the urban schools, opened up to me about this very frustration.  "Would you like me to smear some dirt on their faces and make them look extra poor for your volunteers?" she often thinks to herself during the planning process. 
  
  It is too easy to fall into the mentality of pity for those we serve; however, the very people we serve have the insight, experiences, and potential to be where I am today - I just might have the resources they need to do so.  In true collaboration will the best solution be found.

Above all, do no harm.

"If there is one take-away message that this book can offer to those in service work or supporting it, it is this: the poor, no matter how destitute, have enormous untapped capacity; find it, be inspired by it, and build upon it."